Rambling..

And now... just for fun.....

Let's watch Miranda's world fall to bits for some inane reason!

My god I was a complete and total wreck on Saturday. It started with a huge bawling session in the morning trying to talk some shit through with Jay. Nothing to do with him, about the crap Fungus and I are going through right now. That left me curled up in Jay's lap and having a good sob into his shoulder. Then Julia came in, and was like "what's wrong?" and even though I'm starting to settle down a bit, I can't tell her anything. I'm eternally grateful to Jay's "Just a rainy day" answer, but how can I tell Ryan's mother I'm crying about Ryan? I felt kind of bad for ignoring her, but there are some things I can't tell her, and the fact that I'm teetering on the edge of screaming my lungs out at her son and hurling a few heavy things at his head is not one of them.

The rest of Saturday was more or less a blur, Erin turned 15 and had a party (more on that later) and I actually felt really good for the whole day. Especially because after the party I was going to go see mum and get a whole bunch of curry stuff (again more explanations to come)... at least I THOUGHT I was.

So... Ryan decides all of a sudden he doesn't want to drive me, and I decide all of a sudden I NEED to be anywhere but there, and the only place I want to go is mum's. Enter much whinging and crying and nagging and general disagreement on both sides. (This all started because I had stated clearly TWICE that I wanted to go to mum's when he and Jay started to discuss doing something else that night, and had been deliberatley ignored)

Finally I get out of Ryan that he is feeling hayfever-ish and doens't want to be around mum's cats who he is VERY allergic to. Reasonable enough I guess, although by then I was pretty damned hysterical, still feeling raw from my crying session with Jay, and that was completely unreasonable.

Fungus, being as sweet as he is, patiently tried to explain why he didn't want to go then, and somehow managed to use some wrong words...

I.Hate.Being.At.Your.Parents'

Cue instant hysteria, anger and silence directed him. Followed by a fair degree of swearing - once I got over the silence that is.

But fuck... that instant feeling of rejection of what is essentially a part of me, like I'd been hit in the stomach with a demolition ball. Even once I settled down, and realised that he didn't mean that he hated my parents' house, more that he disliked being at my parents' when he is being hyperallergenic and will probably get an asthma attack from the cat fur, the hurt stayed around for ages.

I'm not even sure where I'm going with this post anymore... I guess it's showing how naieve I can be. For some reason I'd got it into my head that because I loved and trusted Fungus so much, he wouldn't be able to hurt me (Funny, seeing as you always hurt the ones you love)and the fact that something he'd said had caused me so much hurt and upset (even if it was unfounded) shattered my world. Absolutely.Fucking.Shattered.

It took a good couple of hours before I'd settled down from that. As a result I am still rather worn out today. On the upside, Ryan and I seem to be better than ever, even with Ryan having a horrible and unexplained bout of hayfever that is making him thoroughly miserable, money is not being quite so unhappy this week (fingers crossed) and we may have a BEAUTIFUL bedroom available with his stepsister.

Corrie, Ryan's older stepsister has her own place, which as I mentioned is really gorgeous, and I am very envious of. There's still a spare bedroom there, that Ryan and I are looking at moving into. Now I know I can afford my share, but I am concerned about Fungus only having sporadic work thorough his dad and pizza driving for a friend who runs a pizza shop. I know I can't afford for the both of us but Fungus is so desperate to not live here anymore I'm worried he's not thinking things through properly.

Will need to have a talk about that, especially now that the whole bad mood shit seems to be over at last! (I am expecting relapses also, but things are generally better.)

There's so much I want to post. I haven't really updated about how much I am enjoying work, and how awesome the people there are, and how I think this guy Kyle has a crush on me, because he says nothing and has a goofy all the time I'm downstairs, when I know he's perfectly capable of normal conversation. And my list of injuries that I've obtained at work, I am a very clumsy person.

I also wanted to post about Erin's birthday party, seeing as she says I don't write enough about her, and how I cooked curry tonight. I love cooking curry. (That whole things being a part of me thing)

Gah... although now I'm used to work and its hours now, I should find a chance to update more often seeing as I am less prone to falling into bed and dying as soon as I get home. Though writing around gym sessions after work is tricky too, being as if I'm not dead in bed I'm at the gym THEN dead asleep.

I have a singing lesson tomorrow... at 7pm. That's crap, leaves no space for gym, because it would be like 8.30 by the time we got there and the place closes at 10. I can spend 3 or so hours there very easily. I'm sure it wouldn't be so bad if I spent less time in the spa though...

Anyways I need sleep.

Night

Just a quickie

I'm waiting for jay to come get me to go to to the gym, and he should have been here about 5 minutes ago.

Work is great, the people are awesome and I am loving it! The hours are good, I can sleep plenty, and the pay is better than I was expecting too!

Other than that I am alive and well, hopefully a longer update will come later.

I Start Work Tomorrow...

That's right, in 10 hours I'll be rocking up for day one of a job I'll have for hopefully a very long time. No getting sick bullshit I hope.

The only problem with this is that I am extremely wired about the whole situation and can't sleep. (May also be the Creme Caramel dessert and the Cookies and Cream Icecream I had earlier)

Also tomorrow morning I need to shower and makeup and everything before I go to work. (Not that any other morning will be different) but I will have to share the bathroom with Kyla... actually she was great last time we had to get ready around each other... but I hate sharing the bathroom! Tomorrow night I will shower before bed, that way I'll only have hair and makeup. 20 mins tops.

Warm milk before bed is supposed to be good... wish I could say the same of warm Bundy. It's been out of the fridge all day and is no longer icy. (Wonder why, we've been running the heater all day) it's not helping as much as I would have hoped. and there's only one more so it's not like I can drink till I pass out. Not that that's a good idea either... hangover + first day of work = stupid.

I've had a couple of comments about my blog too. Ryan's other sister Erin said she liked the blog, but I should talk about her more... so HI ERIN! And Jamie was glad he got included in the friends I talk about a lot section. Oh... and Nathan's always at me to update. He likes reading about shit I've already told him about.

Had another huge go at Ryan today. Not sure what's going on here other than major moody crap on both ends. He's being miserable and taking it out on me, and I'm just generally being a total cow. I guess it's living in a shoebox with little money, and with his parents.

Anyways going to try and sleep now.... wish me luck!

The Cast & Crew

Trying to give you an idea of all the people you might read about.

Main Characters: (People I write about most)

Me (Miranda): Author and main character in the blog. 20yo, brunette with brown/green/hazel eyes. Live with Ryan & his family. Check my profile and about me post for all the details.

Fungus/Ryan: My beloved boyfriend of just over a year. Excellent musician and in THE MOST AWESOME BAND IN THE WORLD also into computer gaming and runs his own LAN with his friends.

Mordoc/Nathan: My gorgeous boy. Contrary to popular belief we are not, and have never been going out. This doesn’t mean we don’t love each other to bits though. First time I met him he filled my top with shaving cream… and I’m still friends with him after 2 years! All-round good guy this one, even though he teases me. He also runs the LAN

Mum & Dad: Fairly self explanatory really. Have been together for 22 years, but I cannot imagine why. Mum currently works full time and cannot sing to save her life. She is however so passionate about music I will forgive her. Dad is not working right now, but is looking to do something after being out of work because he was sick. We had a horrible relationship a few years ago. This is repairing itself. I can’t say I completely forgive him… but I don’t hate him anymore. Both somewhat psycho, but in a nice way.

Alastair/Alejandro: My older-younger brother. Awesome guy now that he’s grown up. Plays bass in THE MOST AWESOME BAND IN THE WORLD and has a very cool girlfriend Zoe.

Cam: My younger-younger brother. The delinquent. Is actually very bright, however chooses to put his intelligence to the wrong uses. When he grows up some I may tolerate him more. He has settled down slightly in the last little while, and we could wind up being almost normal again.

Random Friends (Still loved immensely... more or less)

Eurox/Jay: Fungus’s best mate and a close friend of mine. Love him to death, but we seem to get on each others’ nerves quite a bit. He also runs the LAN

Aday & Pseudonym/Laura: Two separate people, very much one being. Friends of ours who live entirely too far away (Maribyrnong) Aday also runs the LAN while Pseudonym and I watch. Aday’s real name is Adrian. I don’t think anyone other than the people signing his paycheck call him that. Both horrible computer geeks, in the nicest sense.

Sycostic/Jad/God: So named because he is tall and everyone looks up to him, the other LAN admin. Sweet guy, unfortunate habit for finding girls that are too young for him.

Jamie: Friend of mine I met at a party quite a while back now. Hugely into theatre and music. Do not see him nearly often enough despite living near by, but spend hours on MSN.

Nickers/Nicole: Self appointed best friend. By self appointed she calls herself my best friend. I’m not sure whether it was when she decided to start being a bitch, picking up creepy guys, or having casual sex with said creepy guys (and expecting me to either do the same or wait around while she did) that the feeling stopped being mutual. She is also Fungus’s ex girlfriend and despite claiming to respect our relationship is quite blatantly lying. She is also what Nathan would call a Mental Athlete

Ryans Family &People I Live With: (Not just the people in this house)

Julia: Fungus’s mum. Absolutely lovely lady. Puts up with Ryan and me not having jobs or paying rent.

Ronnie: Fungus’s step-dad. Quite frankly a bit weird, came over from Oklahoma to marry Julia last year, has 3 kids of his own in the USA.

Rachel: Ryan’s older-younger sister, moved out at the beginning of the year.

Kyla: Ryan’s middle-younger sister, talks incredibly fast.

Erin: Ryan’s youngest sister, has my old math teacher!

Dave: Ryan’s dad, does architectural designs on the computerand is totally awesome at it.

Sally: Ryan’s step mum. Very into music and even had Ryan judge a guitar competition at the school she teaches at.

Corrie: Ryan’s step-sis. Awesome chick, has her own house nearby. It’s a great place and I am v. envious of it.

Billi: Ryan’s step-sis. Loves sports and is doing year 12. I think she’s going to be a PE teacher. Owns a Vesper, or something similar at any rate.

My Extended Family (This isn't it, but I doubt I'll write about the others much)

Noni: My grandmother, a retired nurse. Totally awesome woman, my only living grandparent.

Ab & Pete: My aunt and uncle. Ab is Dad’s sister. Have 3 kids, and live with Noni.

Phee: 13yo, eldest cousin. We’re getting closer again now that she’s a skeptical teen, and I’m just skeptical. Is not into boys yet… thank goodness. Is right at that stage where everything is too big for her and she is ungainly. Once she grows into herself more she will be gorgeous.

Boo: 9 (I hope… please don’t let me say he’s 9 if he’s actually turning 10!) So named because peek-a-boo was his favourite game as a baby. Quiet little bloke, very thoughtful and logical in his actions. Prefers science to Judo classes.

Gus: 5yo hyperactive, hard to understand properly, and just full of life. Has a mop of carrot-red curly hair and these bright blue eyes that pop out of his face. Needs constant reminders that he doesn’t need to shout.

In Memory

Peter Lucas: A friend of the family who went to school with Dad. Passed Monday 14th July. May he rest in peace. Much love to Gwen, Nick, Julian and Lizzie.

Oscar Kean: My aunt and uncle's cat, who was actually older than their eldest daughter who is 13. He was put to sleep this morning after having hepatits, feline AIDS and who knows what else. His spirit will terrorise the local wildlife forever.

On a lighter note, the youngest cousin Gus suggested they bury only Oscar's body... and leave the head sticking out...

More TUI

Well... I'm drinking again. The last post was pretty harsh. In fact I'm gonna private it if at all possible and/or edit it so that I'm not taking down someone in public. A blog is cool and made for venting and remembering things. But a public blog is not meant for abusing someone.

Today I had to go to work and sort out Traineeship things. Looks like I might be doing a Cert III instead, because Trev really wants someone who can do MYOB. They're in the process of switching to MYOB from QuickBooks (Accounting/Bookkeeping programs) and while they'll have someone show em what to do for a while, there's going to be a need for a MYOB pro... ie me. Fortunately I was good at Accounting in Yr 11. Passed with 91% on the final exam to be exact. Highest score over both classes :)

I also went to the gym again yesterday. Have worked out a nice little set of reps to do for my arms, back and stomach. Now all I need to do is find something for my ass and thighs and we're in the money. Well not the money so much as the incredibly short shorts.

I'm also going again tomorrow, with Nathan this time. I expect to get severely shown up. Nathan is pretty damned fit. But it does mean I get to sit in the front seat of Renae. Renae for the record is Nath's new car. He joked about calling it Renae, and I'm holding him to it. It's a good name, suits the style of car. Dark blue hatchback. Looks like a Renae... or is that Renee? We all know how fond he is of the Double-E spelling of Kaylee

Man I'm going on about practically nothing now. I'm sure there was something else I meant to talk about. Ah well. I'll add it in or something later.

Miranda

New Blog... New Me?

Apparently around the time I decided to start this new my life changed in a few different ways too. I guess it's symbolic in some weird way, but I didn't see everything happening when it did.

In the past week I've joined a gym, got a job, changed my preference for what I want to be doing with my life, and had a major personality change.

The personality thing is the most interesting. I've been generally more positive, enegetic and decisive, but far more short tempered with people about little things. Poor Fungus has had his head bitten off so many times recently, I'm surprised he bothers to speak to me at all. Mind you, he's not been a ray of sunshine either.

Other random things that now annoy me, people teasing me about little shit that I would usually not care about I've been taking offence much quicker than usual. And previous personality traits that I didn't notice. Mostly about responsibility and knowing when it is and is not yours. I don't really want to explode and tell them what I think either. I would probably be extremely unfair for one, and I'm fairly sure they couldn't deal with it anyway. I don't really want to be left with a blubbering mess that I created.

I guess I'm being hypocritical. It's not my responsibility, and its not in my control. If they want to do this I should let them. It's just hard hearing about it, and knowing that they could do better for themselves if they thought about things in the right priority.

Fark, I'm on on hell of a soapbox tonight! See what I mean about new me? I wouldn't rant like that previously... or would I? Well maybe not so clearly about who I'm on about. (Don't bring up the Nicole Rant either. She doesn't read this!)

I'm not sure about this whole "new me" that seems to be emerging. I mean I like the whole going to the gym thing, and the new job. But the hella evil bitchyness? Not so cool...

Edited 21/07/06 to remove evilness towards person in question.

Who's a smart cookie then?

So uhh... it was Sunday when I wrote that post. Thus I have not yet done my tax forms. *Stares hopelessly at them and cringes*

I already did them once this year to be honest (being the first financial year I paid tax and all, I haven't done one before, and was very proud when I looked at my certificate things employers send out, the Tax booklet I had to fill in, and did it all correctly! Then when I'm boasting to mum on the phone about how smart I am, she reminds me I got Centrelink pay as well.

I'd forgotten this, and wasn't aware that if I was working as well as getting paid, it was taxable income. (If you don't work, it generally falls into the tax-free threshold) Thus I have to re-do my forms. I really don't want to, but I want to see what I can get from it.

So while I'm procrastinating I'm busy admitting various embarassing things to Nathan via MSN. Fortuantely he loves me enough not to tease me. That boy can get anything out of me. (I honestly believe that he'll know if I get pregnant before Ryan does)

Anyways the net is being really slow (I think we've been capped), so I need to make it more slow by playing Neopets for a while... :D

Busy Week Ahead

I have a week before I start work, at the moment it's looking at little like this.

Sunday (tomorrow): Fill in Tax Return crap... more calculations and money issues.

Monday: Biala (my kinder group) for the last time. Coffee with Ryan (decided we need some 'us' time)

Tuesday: Harrass Sarina Russo for money for work clothes and transport to work. Singing Lesson with Daniel. Iris meeting, I am not an Admin or anything, but will be more or less stuck there. (After all it's happening at my place)

Wednesday: Shopping with Sarina Russo's money (I hope) need new shirts and hopefully a bra. Possibly show up to my lil bro's bail hearing if Mum can't get the day off work.

Thursday: Cruise South Melbourne and Parahan dropping flyers for a friend's show.

Friday: Nothing as yet. Probably wash clothes and panic, also further harrass Sarina Russo (they're my job network people) in case they haven't paid me anything yet.

That's my week so far. So much for relaxing before I start work!

I also want to up my singing lessons to once per week being as I am only going once per fortnight. But on the mere pittance I am going to be earning I will have a choice of singing lessons or gym membership.

I am definitely leaning towards the gym. Means I will improve my muscle tone, and toned Miranda = HOT Miranda. Also having a stronger back etc will mean that I can spend less time in the osteopath's office, because my spine will be supported better. Singing is great, but doesn't honestly have as many benefits for me.

I'm just rambling now... I need to promote my blog better. I need more readers!



So far... that's it. Erk. That's a lot.

First Genuine Entry

Hooray! This is my first proper post in my blog. And as the name of my blog suggests, I am genuinely TUI. I have had 2 Bundys. However I should go slow, this is my last drink... by force... after this I am out.

This new blog coincides nicely with new job. Although I'm not going to get a new blog everytime I change jobs... I start next week as a receptionist thing, and I'm doing my Cert I & II in Business Admin, which is only like year 11 level, but if I ever wind up learning to be a child minder thing, I will at least have a foot in the TAFE door so to speak.

As I mentioned in my previous blog I was going to go and visit my younger brother in Juvie. Turns out it wasn't so bad. So not bad that I am probably going to go again tomorrow. If mum ever calls me to let me know what is going on that is.

My ankle hurts too. I'm not sure what I've done, but feels like a sprain. Is not puffy or bruised, just freaking sore. Must be the gorgeous knee-high boots with 4inch heels Nathan just bought me. I have been reluctant to part with them, and as a result, my ankles must be taking a lot of strain. Better switch back to my red Doc Martens, so that my ankles can be reinforced again.

By popular request... NATHAN HAS A CAR gorgeous lil 97 5 speed Lancer. The only problem I have is it's two door, which means I am permanently stuck behind the backseats with no real way to escape. I rarely get shotgun priveliges. I am not the girlfriend, nor am I likely to be taller than whoever else is in the car, which indicates a need for more legspace, so backseat it is for me. Mind you, I practically lived in the middle back of his old Magna. That was "my" seat, even if the rest of the backseat was empty, I would have that spot. May as well get used to it.

Anyways, nothing else of major note, my Bundy is almost gone and I'm tired.

Night All.

Finally!

It took a while, but I have finally got my blog perfect! (I really shouldn't have fiddled with anything in the first place) However, now that's it's looking beautiful I'm going to start posting more often. Im very proud of my work, includign the banner which I made myself. :)

Anyways, Ryan's off to band practise, so I'm off to hang out with mum. Ciao

What is it with some people?

They see only one side of the story and then when I try to present mine, I am automatically wrong. I have feelings and responses to the situation too ya know... and they might... just MIGHT be different from yours.

Oops...

Looks like I broke something. No idea why the text is appearing all the way down there, instead of next to the sidebar. Will fix it soon... I hope.

All About Me

NAME: Miranda

NICKNAMES: Mirandabelle (penname) SexyNurse (Gaming name) Toots,

BIRTHDAY: 28 April 1986, that makes me 20! (I just put 20-something in my profile so I won't have to update it for the next few years)

HEIGHT: 5'5 maybe 5'6

HAIR: Not sure anymore. About three different dye colours.

EYES: Depends on my mood, usually some kind of brown/green/hazel

SIBLINGS: Two brothers, you want?

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: Live with Ryan's (my boyfriend) mum, stepdad and two younger sisters.

MARITAL STATUS:Taken, very happily! Love you m'boy.

MOVIES I LIKE: Rocky Horror Picture Show, Blues Brothers, Cat Ballou, Blazing Saddles, Practical Magic, Parenthood, Fight Club, Battle Royale, Sound Of Music, Matrix Trilogy, Harry Potter, LOTR Trilogy, M*A*S*H, Jumanji, Mrs Doubtfire, Twins, Junior, Grease, Nightmare Before Christmas, Oh Brother Where Art Thou? City Of Angels, Armageddon

MOVIES I DON'T LIKE: Anything starring Jim Carrey or Chevy Chase. I also dislike most Adam Sandler movies, except Happy Gilmore and Bill Madison. Mr Deeds isn't too bad either.

MUSIC I LIKE: Redrum,Bonnie Tyler, MeatLoaf, Jim Steinman, Foo Fighters, Evanescence, Nightwish, Allison Krause, Sherrie Austin, Don McLean, Fleetwood Mac, Korn, Static X, Ella Fitzgerald, Aretha Franklin, Sam Brown, Sam Cooke, Sam and Dave, Jim Croce, Avril Lavigne, Carly Simon, Aerosmith, Boomtown Rats, Breaking Benjamin, H.I.M, The Kinks, Black Sorrows, Vika and Linda, Ry Cooder, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Nickelback, Metallica, Disturbed Matchbox 20, Andrews Sisters, Frank Sinatra, Cole Porter, Queen, Weird Al Yankovic, Seether, Live, Lifehouse, Linkin Park, John Lennon, Beatles, Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry, Joan Baez, Joni Mitchell, Killing Hiedi, Smashmouth, The Doors, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Machine Gun Fellatio, John Williamson, The Bushwhackers, Kasey Chambers, Shakira, Carole King, The Bangles, The Loose Roos, Fiona Boyes, Gordon Lightfoot... the list goes on, but that is all I can think of now.

SOUNDTRACKS I LIKE: Phantom Of The Opera, Les Miserables, Sound Of Music, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Blues Brothers, Grease, Cat Ballou, City Of Angels, Armageddon,

MUSIC I DON'T LIKE, BUT CAN RESPECT AS IT IS STILL REAL MUSIC: AC/DC, Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, Blondie, Bob Dylan (how I hate his voice), Donovan *shudder*, those horrible Irish Patriotic Songs or mournful ballads about some young kid getting shot up in a war.

MUSIC I JUST PLAIN DON'T LIKE: HawkWind, anything Acid, Techno or Trance, and most Rap

TV SHOWS I LIKE: M*A*S*H, Charmed, Stargate SG1, Staragte Atlantis, Futurama, Family Guy, Law & Order SVU, Without A Trace, Bewitched, The 4400, Neighbours, Home Improvement, Play School (still I am sad), Scrubs, Rove LIVE, The Simpsons

TV SHOWS I DON'T LIKE: Home & Away, Family Matters (Urkel eeeeew!), The Panel, Buffy, Angel (sorry Nathan)

ACTOR/ACTRESSES I LIKE: Nic Cage, Bruce Willis, Liv Tyler, Selma Blair, Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman

FAVOURITE FOOD: Just about anything. Pasta, Pizza, Curry, anything home-cooked

INTERESTS: Music, Reading fanfics, Writing Fanfics, Original Fiction (reading or writing), Cooking, Babying people, Blogging, Computer Gaming

BAD HABITS: Being too motherly, Chewing my nails when I get a snag instead of cutting them, Drawing on myself, Ridiculous sleeping patterns, Disgusting disorganistion skills, Procrastinator, Crying too easy, "Blonde" comments that are so obviously stupid everyone is left shaking thier heads, Talking too fast

GOOD HABITS: Caring about people, Always being there with a smile a hug an ear and a 'love you' for whoever needs it, A seemingly endless muse and imagination, An increasingly long fuse, The ability to take a joke (well I'm getting better anyways!)

Welcome

Welcome to my new-look blog. A bit more about me, and archives of my old blog will be uploaded soon. In the meanwhile you can find them Here