I Don't Like It...

So there's been a PM going around Facebook lately, a secret "women's only" message with the intent of raising breast cancer awareness. In short you post "likes it" followed by the current location of your handbag in your status. Mine for example would read: "Miranda Fullerton likes it on the table by the front door."

It's a copy of the very successful thread in a similar vein from sometime last year (or even 2008 perhaps, it was a while ago) where women were sent a message telling them to post the colour of their bra in order to raise breast cancer awareness. Facebook feeds were filled with every colour of the rainbow, and comments from confused men (who were completely outside the circle) and women (who had yet to receive a message themselves) wondering what was going on. This campaign was so widely followed it made the news, and because of this coverage men and women were actually made aware of the cause it was supporting. It also had a tenuous, though physical link to the cause, because while simply peeking down their shirts to check what colour bra they were wearing, women actually looked at the body part in question and were subconsciously reminded of the importance of checking your breasts monthly for lumps, bumps or other changes, which can be a precursor to breast cancer.

This new meme however does not seem to have that physical reminder of what we're supposedly trying to protect by posting these "I like it" statuses, nor is it having the widespread re posting the bra colour status had. In fact, I am extremely doubtful it is raising breast cancer awareness in any way.

I received the same PM a few months ago, and it fizzled out without success. It has already been done, laughed over and forgotten, why try to revive it when it received such mediocre response in the first place?

Few women, and even fewer men actually understand what is going on. When a woman asks the question, she will receive a PM from one of her friends explaining this secret code, but the men (who can also get breast cancer) or whose wives, sisters, mothers or daughters may have fought it, and may want to support the cause are kept in the dark. The PM specifically states to send it only to female friends. How can you raise awareness when you're keeping it so secret?

Not to mention, how many of the women who have re posted this status can honestly admit to having thought for more than a second about breast cancer, researched a way they can help, donated to an organisation that is trying to find a cure, or in some other way genuinely spread the news that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month?

The status doesn't relate to the cause it claims to support. Posting the location of your handbag in a mildly suggestive fashion has nothing to do with raising awareness, so much as raising eyebrows regarding your sexual preferences. Since this status has come to light, "I like it on the floor" has become one of the most commonly searched phrases on the Internet, and not breast cancer support groups, organisations or ways to help.

The same PM that has set me ranting specifically states "we had men wondering for days" (referring to the bra colour craze.) It's not about breast cancer, so much as confusing men and hoping they will infer something entirely different from it. If the intent of posting statuses like these is to play mind games, and prove the theory that "all men think about is sex" then don't hide a sexist attempt beneath the guise of a far more serious cause. It's insulting to the husbands, brothers and fathers you post chain statuses about singing their praises and displaying to everyone how wonderful, loving and smart they are, and it's insulting to women. Women are fighting to not be viewed as sex objects, and to be seen as intelligent, creative individuals who were put on this earth for more than men's pleasure, so why then undo all this work by posting something like this that is intended (despite the worthy cause it is lingering behind) to be taken in a sexual nature?

I ranted similarly (although much more briefly) in my status earlier this evening, and received a comment (which has since disappeared, although I did not delete it) that it was just supposed to be a bit of fun, and that I should let people do what they want. I respect that Facebook is a public forum, and that people have the right to post what they want, as I have the right to post this. However if it's a bit of fun, don't hide behind a serious cause to legitimise a silly, sexist game. Have your game, but be upfront about it.

I'm not going to personally hunt down every single person who re posts the "I like it" status and flame them in the comments, all I am going to do is keep deleting the PMs as I receive them, keep the location of my handbag to myself, and hope that if you're going to participate, you'll also take the time to check your own breasts, think about someone (a sufferer, a carer, a relative) affected by breast cancer, or click on a link & donate some money.

In memory of Cathy Miller - RIP 2010

Umbrellas, Trains & Rude Commuters

Well, winter has once again come to Melbourne, and being a 5 minute walk from a train station I get to watch public transport commuters trudging to and from the station, collars turned up against the wind, side stepping puddles and holding their umbrellas to ward off the constant drizzle that is a Melbourne winter.

Seeing these people pass by, buried in their winter woollies, makes me remember the Autumn and Winter of 2007. I was still working, and using public transport on a daily basis. I was also making fortnightly pilgrimages to the hospital for check-ups as I was also 6-7 months pregnant at the time, not one of my jackets buttoned properly over my belly any more, and yet when I (like so many other commuters) headed for the ludicrously small covered area my local train station provided, I was often left standing in the rain.

One particular day sticks in my mind, I was headed out after work and had to change trains at Ringwood. Unusually cold for the time of year, (it was not yet Easter) there was a biting wind and a steady rain, which even though it was light could soak you to your skin in just ten minutes. Getting off the first train, and knowing I had 10 minutes to wait till the next I headed towards the waiting room & extended roof, looking for shelter, only to come up against a wall of backs as everyone else was struck with the same idea.

It was peak-hour, of course the covered area was at a premium, but as I stood there, huddled with the other passengers who had missed out on the coveted shelter, I looked toward the roofed in area of the platform and realised beneath it was a sea of umbrellas.

Not folded umbrellas tucked beneath people's arms either. Open umbrellas held aloft as their owners waited for the train... underneath the roof! I couldn't believe it, I was stuck there huddled in the rain and wind, with countless other similarly stranded passengers, while a bunch of inconsiderate commuters who evidently didn't think their umbrellas were made to actually get wet. I don't know, maybe they were afraid they'd melt if they made contact with water, like the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz?

Their rudeness too, affected more people than usual as well. On a packed platform it is not unheard of to stand shoulder to shoulder, including to make the most of the precious little shelter provided, it is often a very snug situation, which for the most part is taken with good humour and grace.

A raised umbrella on the other hand creates a "force field" of sorts, as it widens the area a single person needs to occupy, as you need to watch to make sure your umbrella doesn't get tangled with someone else's and more importantly that your eyes are not taken out by the flailing umbrella next to you as the owner, unaware of anything but the phone call they are loudly making waves it around to emphasise their point to a person who cannot see them in the first place. Umbrellas thus force people further apart and reduce the number of passengers who could share in the shelter.

The simple solution obviously is to buy my own umbrella, which I did, twice. But being 7 months pregnant I was lucky if I could have remembered my own name, let alone an umbrella on top of my keys, wallet, phone, and the 40,000 item to-do list I had at work. I am no longer in possession of either of those umbrellas and I can only assume they have gone on to a better place thanks to Connex Melbourne.

I'll willingly admit if I don't have an umbrella & I miss out on a covered spot that's fine. When the area has been occupied by other similarly umbrella challenged commuters. But I don't like being left out in the cold thanks to a bunch of inconsiderate pricks!

So please, if you do have an umbrella & are waiting for a train. Do everyone else who is not as lucky as you a favour and stand in the goddamned rain! That's why you bought it, get your money's worth!

I have not been so offended in ages...

This is just embarrassing, an overseas (US based I believe) pain-relief manufacturer Motrin recently released this disgusting add...

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=XO6SlTUBA38

There are just so many this wrong with this add.

1) It makes babywearing mommas look like ignorant try-hards, who like the teenage girl tottering around in shoes that cause blisters and a dress so tight she can hardly breathe because she's 'sexy', wear their babies because it's 'cool' and will make them look like a 'real' mother.

2) It promotes babywearing as a painful thing to do. This is ridiculous! Even I can wear Zeke, and I have an ongoing shoulder injury and a bad back, and still comfortably tote him around in a carrier wherever I go. Babywearing when undertaken with the right advice and sling for you, (there is lots of advice out there!) is a comfortable and painless experience.

3) The add also made fun of the scientific fact that babies who are worn cry less. I cannot tell you the number of mothers I know who swear by wearing their baby in any form of carrier as a way to keep their bub close, comfortable and peaceful. Nothing turns my fussy, overtired little boy into a mellow baby like popping him in the sling and doing a few laps of the house.

4) The makers of the add also mock the bonding experience that can be had by babywearing. When you wear your baby, you are deliciously close to their soft skin, their warmth is pressed right against your heart (exactly where your baby belongs!), and every step you take you can breathe in that beautiful, sweet, milky, one-of-a-kind 'baby' scent that belongs only to your child... and even while they're asleep your baby will recognise your heartbeat, scent and warmth as a sense of comfort and protection. How is that not a wonderful way to bond with your baby?

I really am disgusted and offended by this, I cannot believe how ignorant the makers of this add are.

When I became pregnant , one of the things I looked forward to most was wearing my child... I researched all the options, and made a choice of carrier based on factors that affect me, and I have found that wearing Zeke is a happy, enjoyable and above all comfortable experience. I love having him close to me when I am out walking or shopping, and he appears to really enjoy being close to me and having a great view of the day's proceedings! Not to mention it keeps my hands free to get what I need to do finished.

For those who choose it babywearing is a win/win situation for the wearer and the child!

All you baby-wearing mothers out there who also find this add rude, offensive or ignorant, please drop by the Motrin website when it is up and running again, and let them know what you think. I will certainly be giving them my two cents!